


Texting and Jamming

by QueenEmpath



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brian is nerd, Everyone else doesn't, F/M, Freddie is protective older brothet, Gen, I'm Sorry, I'm obsessed with queen fics, John is devious, M/M, Roger has already written I'm in love with mycar, Texting, The boys wants be rockstars, They are college dropouts, They are in mid 20s, kash is 18, roger loves his car
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23547166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenEmpath/pseuds/QueenEmpath
Summary: Trying something new here's the first chapter. It's more like drabble than chapter 😂
Relationships: Freddie Mercury/his exes, Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury, John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor, Kashmira Bulsara Cooke/Roger Taylor
Comments: 72
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying something new here's the first chapter. It's more like drabble than chapter 😂

(Saturday 12:00 pm)

**Queen**

**Freddie** : Hey guys, we're gonna write a song together, it will be full of each of our ideas.

**John** : Alright, what kind of vibe are we-

**Freddie** : ITS GONNA BE ABOUT MY CAT.

**Roger** : Are you sure Freddie? How about-

**Freddie** : IT WILL BE FOR DELILAH

**Brian** : Freddie, I really think-

**Freddie** : LETS GO DARLINGS

_ after song is written _

**Brian** : I can't believe I'm going to have to write a guitar riff for this.

**John** : This is your fault Roger

**Roger** : What?? How?

**John** : HE'S OBVIOUSLY GETTING YOU BACK FOR "I'M IN LOVE WITH MY CAR".

**Roger** : …

**Brian:** Wait, why are we talking on text?, We’re sitting right across each other

**Roger:** Nah, too much work😛

**Brian:** I can see why you are still single 

**Roger:** Hey!, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! 

**Freddie:** Rog darling, we live in 2020. You don't have to hide in closet and make imaginary girlfriends.

**Roger:** MY GIRLFRIEND IS REAL

**Freddie:** Well, who is she?

**Roger:** I'm not telling you 

**Freddie:** Come on Rog, I'm your best friend 

**Roger:** Nope 

**_Private chat_ **

**Deeky:** It's Kash, isn't it

**Roger:** H-how?

**Deeky:** Did you just stutter on text? 

**Roger:** You’re not gonna tell Fred, right?

**Deeky:** I could never 

(Saturday 6:00 pm)

**Queen**

**Freddie:** ROGER MEDDOWS TAYLOR! 

**_Roger_ ** _ left the chat _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter

**_Private chat_ **

**Elton:** FREDDIE **!**

 **Freddie** **:** yes Elton

 **Elton** : what have you said to David?

 **Freddie** : Minns?, I haven’t even seen him in ages.

 **Elton** : No, no, the other David

 **Freddie** : Bowie?, that I’m open to collab

 **Elton** : no!, not that David, MY DAVID, my boyfriend!

 **Freddie** : ohhhhhhhhh, that you’re an animal in bed 😉

 **Elton** : WHAT!, you basterd. No wonder he blocked me!

**Freddie: 😅**

* * *

**Queen**

**John:** So, Fred. What is the one thing you love about Jim?

 **Freddie** : I love everything about him, darling. Oh, oh, he have a really big 

**Brian** : Ok, we don’t need to hear the rest!

 **Freddie** : HEART!, pull your heads out of the gutter, you prats

 **Roger** : 😂 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim have doubts, he take help from the Queen boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter please R&R

_Unknown number_ created a group

 _Unknown number_ added Brian, Roger and John 

**John:** um, should we be concerned? 

**Roger:** WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS US!

 **Brian:** smooth Roger, VERY smooth

 **Roger:** shhhhhhhhh

 **Unknown Number:** um guys, it's Jim

 **Roger:** LIES, MIAMI HAVE A DIFFERENT NUMBER

 **Unknown Number:** Miami?, no Jim, Freddie’s boyfriend 

**Brian:** oh

 **John:** ohhhhhhh

 **Roger:** well prove it

 **Unknown Number:** prove what? 

**Roger:** that you’re Freddie’s bf, you part!

 **Unknown Number:** HEY

_Unknown Number sent a pic_

**John:** cute pic 

**Roger:** humph!

 **Brian:** wait, that pic is from Freddie’s Instagram. Roger you moron you've seen that pic and you liked it too

 **Roger:** you don't have any proof 😜

 **Brian** _sends a screenshot_

 _John named_ Unknown Number to Jim

**John:** So Jim, there's any reason we’re added to this group but not Freddie?

 **Brian:** Nice observation Deeky

 **Ranger:** ha, you're just jealous you didn't figure it out first 

_Brian is typing_

**Jim:** guys, I THINK FRED IS CHEATING ON ME 😭 

**Brian:** what?

 **Roger:** WHAT

 **John:** You must be mistaken Jim. Freddie loves you he always talks about you

 **Roger:** And how big your cock is 

**Brian:** That's disgusting Rog!

 **Roger:** hey Freddie told me this

 **Jim:** no guys, he's hanging out with this Michael Jackson lately and I've seen his pics he's gorgeous 

**Jim:** and he sings and dances. And what does I know about music NOTHING 

**John:** Jim

 **Jim:** And he's younger than me. I mean I won't blame Fred I won't choose myself either

 **Brian:** Jim!

 **Jim:** I mean if Fred tell this to my face I will step away but 

**Roger:** JIM, MICHAEL IS STRAIGHT!. he's dating Mr Presley’s daughter. That lucky bugger

 **Jim** : ok, but who is Mr Presley? 

_Roger left the Chat_

_Brian left the Chat_

_John added Freddie_

_John left the chat_

**Jim:** um guys?, what did I say

* * *

**Queen**

_Freddie added Jim_

**Freddie:** I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU BUGGERS WERE TALKING BEHIND MY BACK!

 **Freddie:** AND _Jim darling,_ i can't believe after all our time together, you don't trust me. our love?. NO SEX FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH!

 **Jim:** uh oh 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian writes Fat bottomed Girl, havoc ensures

**Queen**

  
  


**Brian:** Guys, I'm sending you the lyrics of the new song I wrote. tell me how it is

_2 hours later_

**Brian:** uh guys?

**Freddie:** Brian 😀!, we didn't know you were like this 😀 

**Brian:** like what Freddie?

**Roger:** Brian you asshole, why didn't you tell us about the sexy nanny you had hots for?

**Brian:** Roger!

**John:** Does your mum know?, though I bet your dad might have hired her 

**Brian:** DEAKY! 

**Brian:** what about the song! what do you guys think of the song? 

**Freddie:** ah, it's good 

**Roger:** for you 😛

**Brian:** what does that even mean

**Freddie:** well, the fact that you NEVER date curvy girls. Remember Chrissie

**Roger:** and Anita

**John:** we all thought you're a nerd. who knew you have such fetishes 

**Brian:** Well, EXCUSE ME, Roger wrote a song about wanting to shag his car!

**Roger:** THAT WAS A METAPHOR!

**Freddie:** sure 

**Brian:** and Freddie, you forced us to perform Love of my life after your breakup with Mary

**Roger:** Nah, he definitely wrote that song for David Minns 

**Brian:** It was for Mary!

**Roger:** It was for David!

**John:** why were you dating two people at the same time, again?

**Freddie:** I was confused about my sexuality!

**John:** sure

**Freddie:** ARE YOU IMPLYING SOMETHING DEAKY?

**John:** nope, absolutely not. 

**Roger:** he's calling you a hoe, Fred 😂 

**John:** shut up Roger 

**Brian:** GUYS FOCUS ON THE SONG!

**John :** So who's performing the song?

**Brian:** Freddie, obviously, why?

**John:** coz Freddie is openly gay and it won't be fair to make him fantasise about something he doesn't want.

**Freddie:** awww Deaky😘.Don't worry daring, I'll improvise. I'll say Fat bottomed BOYS instead 😉 

**Brian:** DON’T IMPROVISE FREDDIE! 

**Freddie:** ohhh Possessive 

**Brian:** and be on time for the practice 

**John:** and bossy too

* * *

_After performing the song_

**Queen**

**Freddie:** guys, I got tones of DM from curvy girls, I redirected them to Brian’s account 

**Brian:** WHAT!

**John:** Lucky Brian 😉 

**Roger:** wait, why didn't I get any DMs? 

_Freddie left the Chat_

_Brian left the Chat_

_John left the Chat_

**Roger:** HEY!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is here and the boys are TRYING to discuss their costumes

**Queen**

**Freddie:** Darlings, Halloween is here and the party is at Prince’. Better be glamed up 😊 

**Roger:** wait, which one William or Harry?

**Freddie:** I'm talking about **The Prince,** Roger.

**Brian:** oh,that guy

**John-** who always look like he's gonna shag 

**Brian:** DEAKY!

**Friddie:** moving on, I wanna dress sexy but Jim won't allow! 😭 

**Roger:** why don't you dress as a witch, Fred and Jim can be your broom coz you know 😏

**Brian:** Roger!

**John:** why don't we dress as animals

**Roger:** yeah, Brian could a poodle 😂 

**Brian:** ha ha, dumbass

**Freddie:** I think Jim and I would dress as cats. Since all couple will be in couple costume 

**Roger:** wait, you mean John Lennon’s weird ass girlfriend is coming too?

**Freddie:** everyone from our social circle, so, I guess her too

**Brian:** what’s even your problem with Yoko Ono, Rog?

**Roger:** have you seen her Instagram page?, she's weird af

**Brian:** uh, I don't check other people’s girlfriend’s account 

**Freddie:** and you shouldn't too Rog. SINCE YOU’RE DATING MY SISTER!

**Roger:** uh, we’re fighting for now 

**Freddie :** What!, why?

**Roger:** well, we couldn't agree. Kash wanted 2 and I wanted 5 so……

**Brian:** Wait, you were planning kids!

**John: 😱**

**Freddie: -** ****

**Roger:** NO!, we were talking about dogs. I know this woman who's golden retriever recently gave birth 

**Freddie:** 5 dogs?,disgusting, you clearly have no taste, Rog

**Brian:** uh guys, I thought we’re talking about Halloween costumes 

**John:** I want to dress as Cheese toast

**Freddie:** Ew No!

**Freddie:** oh, oh why don't we dress as mean girls

**Brian:** uh, I don't think I wanna dress as a girl

**Roger:** so, you want us all to dress like you 😂 

**Freddie:** I was talking about the movie, you idiot. Btw I'll be Regina

**John-** obviously, Queen 🐝 

**Freddie:** Brian will be Gretchen 

**Roger: 😂**

**Brian:** urgh, whatever

**Freddie:** Deeky will be Cady

**John:** I don't mind 

**Freddie:** and Rog will be Keran 

**Roger:** What, no!, I'm not dumb!

**Brian:** Roger you were talking to a car

**John:** here we go again

**Freddie:** what's with you and cars, huh Rog?

**Roger:** SHUT UP POODLE HEAD. In my defence it was speed buggy 

**Freddie:** speed buggy?

**John: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Brian:** I rest my case

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and Bowie work on Under Pressure, John has something else in mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I never thought, I would make an update this soon but got this idea and couldn't wait to write it. Special thanks to Lorie1483 and BambiRex 😘 for their love and support. Happy Halloween Everyone

**Queen**

**Freddie** : guys, I think it's time we should do our first collab 😀 

_ Freddie added Bowie _

**Bowie:** hi everyone 😊 

**John:** GUYS, I'M DOOMED 😭 

**Bowie:** geez, um thanks 

**Freddie:** Bowei, hush

**Brian:** Deaky what's wrong? 

**John:** Veronica called me, she said she's late 😭

**Roger:** for what?

**John:** late, Roger. You HAVE a girlfriend. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!

**Brian:** OH

**Roger:** Ohhhhhhhh

**Freddie:** Deaky, does that mean you're gonna be a dad?

**John:** I don't know 😭

**John:** guys I'm only 19, I don't have a job

**John:** and my parents are gonna murder me 😭

**Bowie:** parents?, I thought you live with Brian 

**John:** I mean, I HAVE TO TELL THEM EVENTUALLY 

**Roger :** Bowie you idiot! 

**Brian:** I mean, you could always dump her

**John:** NO, Never! 

**Freddie:** Brian, you monster!

**Brian:** HEY, I was just showing him a way out 

**Bowie:** so, Freddie and I are working in this song called, Under Pressure 

**John: 😭**

**Freddie:** I'm gonna kick your ass, Bowie 

**Bowie** : or John could marry his girlfriend 🤷

**John:** but, I'm too young for marriage! 

**Roger:** wait, we can't handle this by ourselves we need help 

_ Roger added Kash _

**Kash:** ok, what have you done, Roger?

**Roger:** i've done nothing, baby 

**Kash:** Ok, so what have Freddie done? 

**Freddie:** HEY

**Bowie:** can I add my girlfriend too?

**Brian:** sure 

_ Bowie added Iman  _

**Roger:** OMG Iman 😍

**Freddie:** UHUM!

**Kash:** what is happening here again?

**Brian:** _ sent a screenshot  _

**Kash-** oh **,** wow, and I thought Roger is the irresponsible one.

**Roger:** HEY

**Kash-** remember, the day before yesterday?

**Freddie:** LALALALALA I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT 🤮

**Brian:** like we DON’T wanna hear about your and Jim’s sex life 

**Iman:** So John, you don't want to leave your girlfriend but you also don't want to be a father, correct? 

**John:** I mean, I'm too young for marriage, I'm only 19 

**Iman:** right

**Kash:** John, you could at least be there for Veronica. Plus, it's 2020 no one actually expects you to marry her. Not even Veronica herself, I guess

**John:** thank ladies. Ok, Que sera sera. Let's work on the song, guys!

  
  


_ After performing Under Pressure with Bowie  _

**Queen**

**John:** Guys, great news. Veronica isn't pregnant! 😀 

**Brian:** woah, that was close call, Deaky 

**John:** Let's party

**Freddie:** sure Deaks, but from now on you're gonna use protections

**John:** you guys are never gonna drop this, are you? 

**Roger:** Nope 😛

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul spread a rumor about Freddie and everyone think of way of putting him in his place

**Queen**

**Brian:** Roger?

**Roger:** yea Brian 

**Brien:** why is #PaulPrenterisapettyloser trending on Instagram?

**John:** _sent a screenshot_

**Brian:** that bastard!, wait, I'll write a lengthy comment under his post 

**John: 🙄**

_John added Jim_

**Jim:** when I get my hands on that bastard…………..

**Jim:** Guys Fred is at his parents, what if his parents see that!

**Jim:** Fred isn't replying any of my messenges 😭 

**Roger:** let's beat Prenter up

**Jim:** I’ll call my brothers

**Jim:** wait 

_Jim added Phoebe_

_Jim added Joe_

**Roger:** well, hello Phoebe 😉

**Joe:** back off buddy, he's mine!

**Phoebe:** uh guys, we’re in the middle of a situation 

**Jim:** Who's up for beating Premter up?

**Roger:** oh, oh me, me 🙋

**John:** I’ll bring my cricket bat 😁 

**Brian:** Seriously Deaky?

**John: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Brian:** urgh, we need a mature person 

_Brian added Miami_

**Miami:** what have you morons done now?

_Brian sent a screenshot_

**Miami:** oh 

**Jim:** just oh, that asshole is trying to ruin MY boyfriend’s public image and you’re saying oh! 

**Brian:** Jim hush, he's a lawyer he knows better

**Miami:** yes and you'll get imprisonment for beating someone up.

_Three hours later_

**Freddie:** wtf, why do I have more than 500 notifications on my phone?

**Jim:** omg Fred!, darling where were you. We were so worried

**Freddie:** I was at my parents, my dad have a no-phone policy plus my battery died down, what happened

**Phoebe:** you won't like it 

**John:** it's bad 

**Freddie:** try me 

_Roger sent a screenshot_

  * _Liked by **QueenSucks** and **others**_


  * **PrenterPaul** @jimhutton, be careful of what your mouth and hand touch, you might get AIDS. Seeing how many guys he has slept with there's a HUGE possibility. You have been warned 😊 



**Jim:** Fred? 

**Freddie:** pftt that's all Prenter can do? 😂 

**Brian:** you aren't upset?

**Freddie:** And let Prenter win?, there's no truth in what he's saying. AND I'm not gonna give him any attention whatsoever 

**Freddie;** plus, did you see how badly he got trolled 😂 

_Freddie sent a screenshot_

  * **_sammyluvspants_** _go to hell homophobe_


  * **fovereverachild** you are a nasty piece of shit 


  * **RogerTaylortheRockstar** 🖕#PaulPrenterisapettyloser



**John** : guys, guys Prenter’s account got blocked. People reported him for his homophobic post and insensitivity towards AIDS patients

**Roger:** YIPPY

**Jim:** great 

**Phoebe: 😊**

**Joe:** hotdog! 

**Brian:** Miami pulled his strings well

**Freddie:** and, I got a DM from Elizabeth Taylor 

**Brian:** WHAT!

**John:** woah 

**Roger:** 😱

**Freddie:** guess what darlings, we’re gonna perform on World's Aids day!

**Brian:-**

**Roger:-**

**John:-**

**Freddie:** I guess they fainted ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys find some interesting people on internet, chaos ensures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this thought and decided to go with it. Enjoy 😊

**Queen**

**Brian-** Guys?,Who the heck is Gwilym Lee?

**Brian:** some of my friends keep tagging me in his pics saying we look alike 

**Freddie:** Is he hot?

**Brian:** wtf Fred, you're in a relationship

**Freddie:** so, who said I can't look

**Roger:** I don't remember tagging you?

**Brian:** I do have other friends, Roger 

**Freddie:** ouch 

**Brian:** _sent a picture_

**Freddie:** oh, I know him. he's the guy from acting school, he's friends with Rog’s cousin Ben

**Roger:** yeah my baby cousin who totally looks like me 😀 

**Freddie:** He DOESN'T look like you, Roger

**John:** well, I don't see much resemblance with Brian

**Roger:** wait 

**Roger:** _sent a picture_

  
  


**Brian:** what the actual………… How?, Roger!

**Roger:** calm your ass, Claire did this photoshop

**Brian:** WHY?

**Roger:** for fun I guess, plus she likes him

**John:** Brian?

**Roger:** NO!, Gwilym. Claire have taste

**Freddie:** apparently Kash doesn't 

**Roger:** HEY!

* * *

**Queen**

**Freddie:** Guys, who the fuck are Adam Lambert and Marc Martel! and why I'm tagged in their _many_ Vs videos?

**Freddie:** _shared a link_

**Brian:** Woah

**Roger:** WHAT

**John:** awww, they're fans of you Fred. It's cute

**John:** it's like someone split Freddie’s voice and mannerism into two people

**Freddie:** IT’S CREEPY 

**Brian:** yeah, especially the Martel guy

**Roger:** he's TRYING so hard to sound like Fred

**Brian:** ikr, I like Lambert though

**Roger:** yeah, he seems to have X factor 

**John:** pftt you both seems to have some deep seated dislike for Martel

**Roger:** nope

**Brian:** absolutely not 

**John:** yeah right🙃

**Freddie:** Well, those two need to shag and their supporters need to chill! 

**Brian:** wtf Fred not everyone is gay

**Freddie:** Lambert is 

**John:** but Martel don't seem like

**Roger:** ha, your gaydar is broken, Fred

**Freddie:** my gaydar works perfectly fine!, ever heard of bicuriosity 

**Brian:** I don't even wanna know

* * *

**adamlambert**

Well, hello darling - **F**

**A-** OMG Freddie! 

**A-** I'm a huge fan of your, I follow both your Instagram and your

YouTube channel. Oh my gosh, it's a dream come true! 

Thanks darling, So, what do you think of Marc Martel?- **F**

And be honest- **F**

  
  
  


* * *

**Queen**

**Roger:** Hey Freddie, you have to see this. There’s this guy call Rami Malek, he kinda looks like you 

**John:** 🙄

**Brian:** here we go again

_Freddie left the chat_

  
  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is out of town, the boys decided to have some fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and likening this five. Here's the new chapter enjoy 😊

**Queen**

**Freddie-** Guys, do you think cats get songs stuck in their head?

**Brian:** wtf Fred, it's 3am. GO TO SLEEP!

**Freddie:** wow mood

* * *

**Queen**

**Roger:** I’M GONNA BEAT JIM INTO PULP!

**John:** huh?

**Freddie:** HOW DARE YOU, Roger!. Over my dead body! 

**Roger:** wtf Fred, you were the one who

**Roger:** _sent a screenshot_

> **_killerQueen 👑-_ ** _No one loves you more than your fur babies_

**Roger:** I thought he might've done something 🤷♀️

**Freddie:** he went to Carlow to visit his parents for a week, A WHOLE WEEK, ROG!

**John:** So you were being dramatic. 

**Brian:** can you guys please SHUT UP, I'm working on my Theses 

**Roger:** yeah guys Captain nerdypamts is working 🙄

**Brian:** shut up Roger

* * *

**Queen**

**Brian:** why don't you call Phoebe and Joe to stay over, Fred

**Freddie:** I could but I can't share bed with them. I mean can't let them sleep in mine and JIM’s bed especially Liza 

**Roger:** ohhhhhhh

**John:** yeah right

**Brian:** huh?

**Roger:** Does Phoebe know?

**Freddie:** NO!

**Roger:** let's meet at Freddie’s for drinks

**John-** yeah 😀 

**Brian:** What about Kash? 

**Freddie:** mood killer

**Roger:** she's going to one of her friends

**Freddie:** the party is on, darlings!

* * *

**_Private Chat_ **

**Miami:** Freddie.

**Freddie:** yes Miami?

**Miami:** what is the meaning of this?

**Miami:** _sent a screenshot_

**Freddie: 😨**

**Freddie:** WTF, I swear I sent that to Jim, my boyfriend! 

**Miami:** Well, you sent it to the WRONG Jim. 

**Freddie:** 🙈

* * *

**Queen**

**Freddie:** please someone kill me this intent 

**Brian:** huh

**Freddie:** _sent a screenshot_

**Roger: 😅😄😂😅😅😂😅**

**John:** You _actually_ sent him your cock pic, Fred? 😏

**Brian:** DEAKY!

**John:** what? 🤷♀️

**Freddie:** I could never show my face to Miami now 🙈

**Roger: 😂😂😂😂😂😂**

**Freddie:** STOP LAUGHING ROGER!

**Roger:** Nope 😛

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John writes I want to break free

**Queen**

**Freddie:** guys do you think I should cut my hair and grow a mustache?

**Roger:** Ew no, you’ll look like some gay guy from 80s

**Freddie:** And?, what's wrong with that?. I heard 80s fashion is coming back

**Roger:** pfft, don't tell me Bowie told you this. How the hell he have such terrible fashion sense when he have such fashionable girlfriend 😍

**Freddie:** just like my sister having a dumbass boyfriend despite being smart 🤷‍♀️

**Roger:** HEY!

**Roger:** get a haircut though, I'm gonna get one as well 

**Brian: 🙄** you're such a groupie Roger

**Freddie:** you're only saying it coz you're never gonna change your hairstyle 

**Brian:** yes, I'm planning to keep them as it is till I'm old 

**Roger:** in short, you're gonna look like a poodle your whole life 😂 

_ Brian is typing  _

**John:** guys I've wrote a song, I'm sending you the lyrics

* * *

**Queen**

**Brian:** So, you want to break free from what?, Veronica? 

**Roger:** oh, oh maybe he's coming out

**Freddie:** Nah, he's very much straight AND he's into some kinky stuff too 😉 

**Freddie:** Remember the book I found Deeky? 

**Roger:** Which book was it Fred? 

**Freddie:** 50 shades of Grey

**Brian:** WHAT!, Deaky read 50 shades of Grey? And I thought he had some taste!

**Freddie:** oh hush Brimi. Not everyone gets  _ horny  _ by reading about stars and planets. Some of us need real stuff

**Roger:** I bet Deaky gonna have the most kids out of us all. 

**John:** DON’T TALK AS IF I'M NOT HERE! 

**Freddie:** 😅

* * *

**Queen**

**Freddie:** oh, oh I have an idea why don't we perform in drag

**Brian** : NO

**Freddie** : But

**Brian** : absolutely not!, you made us wear drag during Halloween. I'm not dressing as girl in front of audience 

**John** : I don't mind

**Roger** : it'll be fun 

**Brian** : OF COURSE YOU BOTH WOULD SIDE WITH HIM

**Roger** : wtf is your problem, Brian?

**John** : yeah, you're not some LGBTQ phobic, are you?

**Freddie** : YOU BETTER NOT!

**Brian** : WHAT!, I'M NOT!. urgh fine 

**Freddie** : we got him 😀

**Roger** : it work everytime 

**John** : 😏

**Brian** : you guys are the worst.

* * *

_ After performing I Want to Break Free _

**Queen**

**John:** wtf 😂 

_ Sent a screenshot _

> **_KillerQueen 👑_ ** _ the moment when  _ **_@_ ** _ Kashbulsara kissed a guy and turned him into girl 😂  _
> 
> **_Kashbulsara @_ ** _ KillerQueen 👑 Tamē gadhēḍō chō,Farrokh! _
> 
> **_KillerQueen 👑 @_ ** _ Kadhbulsra Manē tē na bōlō! _
> 
> **_Kashbulsra @_ ** _ KillerQueen 👑 Barābara, Tamē gadhēḍō chō, Freddie _
> 
> **_KillerQueen 👑 @_ ** _ Kadhbulsra chup! _
> 
> **_Kashbulsra @_ ** _ KillerQueen 👑Tu Chup _

**Brian:** wtf they're saying?

**John:** who knows, but it's damn funny 😂 

**Freddie:** Roger you asshole did you see likes/comments under your pic!

**John:** oh, we did 😂 

**Freddie: 🙄**

**Freddie:** _ sent a screenshot  _

_ Liked by  _ **_RuPaul_ ** _ and others _

**Brian:** What!

**John: 😱**

**Freddie:** and that's not all. That asshole got invited for the drag race and I DIDN’T!

**Roger:** huh what happen I just woke up

**Freddie:** You're the worst Roger!, I HATE YOU! 

_ Freddie left the chat  _

**Roger:** huh

**Brian:** What just happened here? 

**John: 🤷‍♀️**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Freddie and Kash’s argument   
> Tamē gadhēḍō chō, Farrokh- you're an asshole Farrokh  
> Manē tē na bōlō!- don't call me that  
> Barābara, Tamē gadhēḍō chō, Freddie- ok, you're an asshole, Freddie  
> Chup- shut up  
> Tu Chup- You shut up!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some pre Christmas fun-i mean chaos 😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little prechritmas fic, enjoy 😊. I didn't know John’s sister’s name so I made up the name.

**Queen**

**Brian:** That's it!, I'm never gonna do YouTube lives with you assholes, EVER AGAIN!

**Roger:** oh come on Brian, it wasn't that bad

**Brian:** WASN'T THAT BAD! My mum was watching it, you prats!

**Freddie:** oh, come on darling. I think it was wishful thinking 🤷‍♀️

**Brian:** You said,  _ this Christmas, I wish everyone gets fucked like I do every night.  _ Before 1 million viewers AND My mum!

**Freddie: 😅**

**Roger:** ignore him Fred, he’s jealous coz you're getting laid and he isn't 

**Brian:** EXCUSE ME!, I'm getting laid!

**Roger:** oh, oh who is she? 😀 

**Brian:** I'm not telling you

**John:** it's like deja vu 

**Roger:** WAIT, don't tell me it's Claire 😨

**Brian:** NO! 

**John:** um, it's not Sarah either. right Brian?

**Brian:** FFS, I don't shag my friend's sister like Roger

**Roger:** HEY

**Freddie:** don't be crude Brian

**Brian:** ha!, coming from you?, that's rich

**Freddie:** don't try to change the topic, darling. Who is she?

**Brian:** I'm not telling you either

**John:** I don't like where it's going 😬

**Roger:** WAIT, don't tell me it is, who I think it is? 

**John:** uh oh 

**Freddie:** Who, Barbara?

**John:** nope the other one 🤷‍♀️

**Freddie:** WHAT!?

**Freddie:** You’re fucking kidding me!

**Freddie:** DON'T TELL ME, IT'S MARY. OUT OF ALL PEOPLE?

**Roger: 😨** whatever happened to NOT sleeping with your friend's exes rule? , huh Brian

**John** : such violation of bro code. Sad, very sad 

**Brian:** WTF guys, I'm not sleeping with Mary!

**Freddie** : who is it then?

**Brian** : It's Anita! 

**Brian:** shit 🙈

**Roger** : wait, I thought you both broke up? 

**Brian** : We got back together! 

**Freddie:** ha, we got him 

**Roger: 😄**

**John:** it works every time 😏

**Brian** : urgh!

* * *

**Queen**

**Freddie:** Guys I'm doomed 😭. It's related to Christmas

**Brian:** Freddie, you don't even celebrate Christmas

**Freddie:** But Jim does and he invited me to spend Christmas with his family in Carlow!

**Roger** : so?

**Freddie** : SO?, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN JIM'S FAMILY PHOTO, ROGER!

**Freddie:** he has 9 siblings, plus his parents, plus his older sibling's spouse. I can't 😭

**Roger:** Woah 😱

**Brian:** wait, 10 children!. What does Mr Hutton even do?

**John: 😉**

**Brian:** DEAKY!

* * *

**_Private Chat_ **

**Roger:** uh, Fred. could you not go to Carlow?, please

**Freddie:** I haven't decided yet Rog, what happened?

**Roger:** well, my mum wants both of our families to have an  _ official  _ Christmas together 

**Freddie:** oh, congrats. When is the wedding?

**Roger:** FRED!

**Freddie:** ok, ok what's the issue darling?

**Roger:** well, I don't want to be in the same room with your dad and  _ my  _ dad ALONE!

**Freddie:** you know what darling……………………………………………..............................................................I’m going to Carlow😆 

**Roger:** WHAT

**Freddie:** enjoy your Christmas getting lectured by both of our dads, darling 😘😉😂

_ Freddie left the Chat _

**Roger:** Freddie you asshole come back here!

  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger writes a new song, chaos ensures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for update after so long. Here's the new chapter 😊

**Queen**

**Roger-** guys, guys I've written a song

**Freddie-** No!

**Roger-** but 

**Freddie-** Nope

**Roger-** 😡 

**Brian-** ok, Roger what's it called?

**Roger-** Radio Ga Ga 😀 

**Freddie- 🙄**

**Roger-** wtf Fred, it's actually good 

**John-** you said the same about I'm in Love with my car 🤷♀️

**Freddie-** see, even Deaky agrees with me

**Roger-** Brian, they're ganging up on me! 

**Brian-** it's time I think we should take our new year resolutions 

**John-** isn't it a little late for that?

**Brian-** it's never too late 🤷♀️

**Brian-** for Roger- no writing stupid songs, 

**Roger-** wtf, Fred wrote Bicycle Race!

**Freddie-** I WAS 17, FFS!

**John-** And I wasn't even in the band ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Brian-** moving on.no picking fights with George Harrison online, along with Crystal- no spitball throwing on people, along with Jim no planning beating Prenter up 

**John-** also, no drunk texting, you almost caused Phoebe and Joe to break up

**Roger-** YOU CAN’T CHOOSE NEW YEAR RESOLUTION FOR ME! 

**Freddie-** yes we can!. Guys  _ I've _ written a song, it's a masterpiece!

**_Roger_ ** _ left the chat  _

  
  


* * *

**Queen**

**_Freddie_ ** _ added  _ **_Roger_ **

**Freddie-** Roger, came out of the closet this instant! 

**Brian-** wait, what?

**John-** that doesn't sound right 

**John-** plus I'm sure that's not how coming out works 

**Brian** \- wtf Deaky!. Why you three are so obsessed with making everyone gay? 

**John- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Freddie-🙄**

**Freddie-** that asshole has locked himself in the closet, AGAIN!

**John-** 🙈

**Brian-** how do you even know?

**Freddie** \- Kash told me 

**John-** poor girl

**Freddie-** Roger, I'll count til three! 

**John** \- uh oh 

**Brian-** here we go again

**Freddie-** ONE!

**Freddie-** TWO!

**Roger-** ONLY WHEN YOU APPROVE MY SONG!

**Freddie** \- Nope, absolutely not!

**Roger-** Brian! 😭

**Brian** \- ok, ok Rog. Send me the lyrics

**Roger-** ok 😀

**Freddie- 🙄**

**Brian-** wow Roger, it's actually good 

**Freddie-** Traitor!

**Brian- 🙄**

**John-** let me take a look as well

**Roger- 😀**

**John-** nice job Rog 

**Freddie-** you too Deaky? 

**Brian- 🤦**

**Roger-** cmon Fred, join the dark side 😀

**Freddie-** humph 😤

  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie shared a good news

**Queen**

**Roger-** Brian!

**Brian-** what Roger?

**Roger-** you're OFFICIALLY my best friend now!

**Brian-** 🙄

**John-** what did Freddie do?

**Roger-** _sent a picture_

**Brian-**

**John- 😱** is that? 

**Roger-** YES!, AN ENGAGEMENT RING!. And I found out from Instagram FFS

**Freddie** \- you're such a drama queen darling

**John-** pfft 

**Brian-** look who's talking 🙄

**Roger- @Freddie** shut up you sneaky asshole! 

**Freddie-** HEY 

**Freddie-** it was a pleasant surprise though 😊. I thought I will propose to Jim

**Brian- 🙄**

**Freddie-** what?

**Roger-** pfft like you did to Mary 🙄

**John-** And Winnie 🤷‍♀️

**Freddie** \- 👊 😤

**Roger-** speaking of which

**Roger-** _ sent a screenshot  _

> **_@Winnie’sKüche-_ ** _ Freddie, du Arschloch! _

**Roger-** 😂 

**John-** something is telling me, he isn't congratulating 😅 

**Roger-** why would he?, Freddie literally cheated on him with Jim

**Brian-** WHAT! 

**John-** 😱

**Freddie** \- STOP DIGGING THE  **PAST** , ROGER!

**Roger- 😅**

**John-** what is he even saying?

**Freddie-** 🤷‍♀️

**Brian-** wtf, how did you both even communicate back then?

**Freddie-** via Barbara 🤷‍♀️

**Brian-** 🙈

**Roger-** Brimi meant how you both used to talk in bed 😉

**John-** yes 😀 

**Freddie-** oh c'mon darlings, you don't need words for that. you need

**Brian-** ENOUGH!

**John-** but

**Brian-** no Deaky!

**Roger-** but?

**Brian-** shut up Roger

**Roger-** wtf **,** I haven't even said anything!,

**Brian-** that's the point!

**Freddie-** 😅 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of what Winne said   
> Freddie, du Arschloch!- Freddie, you asshole


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian discovers fanfiction. Freddie makes an *interesting* confession

**Queen**

**Brian-** can I ask what was the need of this!

**Brian-** _sent a screenshot_

> _@_ ** _KillerQueen👑-_ ** _Bohemian Rhapsody reach 1 billion views on YouTube 😀 @_ **_RayFoster_ ** _IN YOUR FACE!_

**Freddie-** he deserved it 😤

**Roger-** yeah

**John-** um hum

**Brian-** wtf, no, I mean yeah, I meant this

**Brian-** _sent a screenshot_

> _@_ ** _RogerTaylortheRockstar-_ ** _@_ **_TimmyStaffle_ ** _in your face fucker 😛_

**Roger-** well, he deserved it too 🤷‍♀️

**Brian- 🙄**

* * *

**Queen**

**Brian-** uh, guys what's Maylor?. Some girl DM me to look at her Maylor fic

**Roger- 😂**

**John-** Pitt, I like Deacury more 

**Freddie-** my favorite is Jimercury 😀 

**Roger-** 🙄 of course it is. How about Froger?

**Freddie-** 😝

**Freddie-** don't get me wrong darling, I love you but not that much 😛

**Brian-** wtf are you guys talking about?

**John-** type Maylor on Google 

**Brian-** ok 

_15 minutes later_

**Brian-** WHAT!, people write THAT about us! 🤮

**Brian-** stories about us having sex!

**Freddie-** it's not always about sex though

**John-** yeah, sometimes it's about emotional stuff too

**Roger-** yeah, fluffy stuff 😀 

**Brian-** I'm gonna scold this girl!

**John-** 🙄 don't be an ass Brimi

**Freddie-** don't overreact dealing 

**Brian-** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, FRED!. 

**Brian-** WE CANT LET PEOPLE WRITE SUCH ABSURD THINGS ABOUT US!

**Brian-** WE’RE REAL PEOPLE FFS

**Roger-** FFS Brian, CLOSE THE DAMN CAPS!

**Brian-** how can you guys be so chilled about this?. I mean Roger and me? 🤮

**Roger-** HEY!, I won't sleep with you either poodlehead! 

_Brian is Typing_

**Freddie-** chillax Brimi it's just fanfiction

**Brian-** but?

**John-** calm your ass down, Brian or I’ll kick your butt!

**Freddie-** uh oh 

**Roger-** see!, you made Deaky mad 

**Brian-** but 

**John-** stop talking about butts, Brian!

**Roger-** 😂

* * *

**Queen**

**Roger-** taking about slash **,** so, Fred, have you ever get attracted to any of us? 

**Freddie-** Uh, I don't think it's a good idea

**Roger-** c'mon Fred, please, please! 

**John-** 🙄

**Freddie-** urgh, yes I _was_ attracted to someone from the band but _way back_

**Roger-** oh, oh who is it?

**Freddie-** nope, I'm not taking any name 

**Roger-** but Fred 🥺

**Freddie-** no way, Straighty Straightington will lose his shit again 🙈

**Roger-** WHAT!

**Roger-** why _him_ though, I mean why!

**John-** 🤷‍♀️

**Freddie-** if you see through my eyes, he isn't bad looking 🤷‍♀️

**Roger-** but him?, HIM out of all people?

**Freddie-** ssshhhh dumbass

**John-** you aren't subtle Rog 

**Brian-** wtf, you guys are talking about?

**Roger-** SEE! 

**Freddie-** urrgh 🙈

**John-** 🙄

* * *

_6 hours later_

**Queen**

**Brian-** wait?, you guys were talking about, me? 

**John-** 🙄 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and John argue over song genre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter. Enjoy 😊. Sorry in advanced if this chapter isn't funny or interesting like the previous ones

**Queen**

**Brian-** Disco? 

**John-** IT'S NOT DISCO!

**Brian-** What is it then? 

**John-** it's………….Queen🤷

**_Roger_ ** _ changed  _ **_John_ ** _ to  _ **_DiscoDeaky_ **

**Roger- 😅**

**DiscoDeaky- 🙄**

**Freddie-** it sounds like a Camgirl's name, Deaks 😂 

**Brian-** how do you even know about Camgirls, Fred?

**Brian-** wait, no, don't answer that. I don't wanna know 

**Freddie- 😂**

**DiscoDeaky-** can we PLEASE focus on the song!

**Brian-** yeah, we’re not doing it!. We’re a rock n roll band

**DiscoDeaky-** pfft, sure 

**Brian-** wtf

**DiscoDeaky-** a rock n roll band, which perform Opera and sad funeral songs 🙄

**Freddie-** HEY!

**Freddie-** it was a masterpiece!

**Brian-** and Who wants to live forever is meaningful 

**DiscoDeaky-** you wrote it when your gold fish died 🤷♀️

**Brian-** HEY,

**Brian-** how dare you bring goldy into this! 

**DiscoDeaky-** 🤷♀️

**Brian- 😡👊!**

**DiscoDeaky-** 😤

**Brian-** 👊

**DiscoDeaky- 😤**

**Brian- 😡👊😡👊😡👊👊👊👊**

**DiscoDeaky- 😤** I'm not scared of you passive-aggressiveness, Brian 🙄

**Brian-** @#@#@#@#@#@#$@$@!

**DiscoDeaky-** 🙄😤

**Brian-** well, you wrote that stupid cheese toast song!

**Freddie-** uh oh

**Roger-** 😬

**DiscoDeaky- 🙄** well, I actually never performed it on stage, unlike you!

**Brian-** wtf

**DiscoDeaky-** cough  _ Bicycle song  _ cough!

**Brian-** that song was written by Fred and you weren't even in the band then, ffs!

**Roger-** uh Fred, aren't you gonna say anything 

**Freddie-** nope, last time I intervened, Deaky threw is bass guitar

**Roger-** 😬

**Brian-** SEE!

**DiscoDeaky-** THAT WAS ONE TIME, FFS!

**Brian-** you act like a child, John

**DiscoDeaky-** YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD, Brian Harold!

**Roger** Omg 😂 

**Brain-** SHUT UP ROGER

**DiscoDeaky- 🙄**

_ Brian is typing  _

**Freddie-** geez, you both are worse than old married couples 🙄

**Roger-** #Maycury 😂 😅 😂😅😂😅😂

**Brian-** Shut up both of you!

**DiscoDeaky-** yeah, stay out of it! 

**Brian-** yeah, let daddies sort this out 

**Roger-** wait, what? 😱

**Freddie-** 😀 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When young fan message Freddie for help, he immediately write a song to convey his feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, enjoy 😊

**Queen**

**Freddie-** darlings I've written a song I'm sending you the lyrics 

_ 30 minutes later  _

**Brian-** NO, absolutely not!

**John- 🙄** here we go again

**Freddie-** but 

**Brian-** no!

**Freddie-** But, Briami

**Brian-** nope

**Roger-** who put his panties in twist? 😂 

**John-** not me

**Freddie-** Brian!

**Brian-** I say no! 

**Freddie-** arrrrgh!

**Brian-** we can't perform that, half of the religious groups will sue us!

**Freddie-** it's not blasphemy Brian

**Roger-** stop overreacting Brian, the song is 

**John-** gibberish 🙄

**Brian-** remember the girl Rhianna using Arabic verses in her song?, people were attacking her online!

**Freddie-** Brian, I'm gonna say this once………………………there’s place for only ONE drama queen in this band!

**Roger- 😂**

**Brian- 🤦**

**John-** stop being a chicken, Brian

**Roger-** 🐩= 🐥 😂

**Brian** \- Shut up Roger!

**Brian-** WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT TO PERFORM THIS SONG!

**Freddie-** leave it Brian

**Brian-** NO

**Freddie-** BRIAN!

**Brian-** NO!

**Freddie** BRIAN!

**Brian-** NO!

**Roger-** poodlehead! 😂 

**Brian- 🙄**

**Freddie-** BECAUSE KENNY AL-BAHIR’’S PARENTS THREW HIM OUT FOR BEING GAY! 

**Brian-** wait, what?

**Roger- 😰**

**John-** Fred got message from a 15-year-old fan whose Persian parents kicked him out

**Roger-** Freddie you ass, why didn't you told me this?, and how the fuck Deaky knows this and not me!

**John-** because Fred told me 🙄

**Roger-** SHUT UP!, you toast lover! 

**John-** you shut up. You..................car lover 

**Freddie- 🙄**

**Roger-** Deaky you asshole! 

**John-** shut up, Roger ****

**Freddie-** I just wanted to convey that even if our families and society give up on us, God won't. Al least I believe it 😔 

**Brian-** uh ,um I 

**John-** for a nerd, you're a total dumbass Brian

**Brian-** HEY

* * *

_ After performing Mustapha _

**Queen**

**Brian-** I Knew it!. I knew it! SEE WHAT HAPPEND 

> _ #boycottQueen _

**Brian-** This is trending on twitter!

**John-** pfft, see what Roger did 😂 

> **_RogerTaylortheRockstar-_ ** _ ShUT UP Brit haters #godsavethequeen _

  
  


**Brian-** did you just? 

**Roger- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Brian- 🤦**

**John-** don't worry about the trolls, Brimi. We got enormous support from our fans and other artists 

**Roger-** especially Quears 😀

**Freddie-** hey darlings, see this 😀

**Freddie-** _ sent a picture _

**Brian-** woah

**John-** is that Kenny? 

**Freddie-** yes, he'll live with Jim and me 😊

**John-** ah, that's why Jim and Miami went to Hampshire

**Roger** \- wtf Fred!, why don't you tell me anything! And why the fuck Deaky out of all people!

**Freddie-** 🙄

**Brian** \- well, he kind look like that Rami guy 

**Roger-** he's cute 😉 😀

**Freddie** \- HE'S FIFTEEN! 

**John-** pfft, aren't you in a relationship, Rog? 🙄

**Brian-** wait?, aren't you straight? 

**Freddie** \- 🙄

**Roger-** shhhhhhhhh 😉 

**John- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Brian-** WTF GUYS! 

  
  



End file.
